Ok, I basicly have nothing new to tell. These days all is about the wedding (and people leaving).
BUT!!!! I have to tell this story...
Yesterday I was woken up at 06:08, which in itself is not a great accomplishment, except I sleep heavely... what however was an accomplishment, was the fact taht suzi (our neighbour) had me PISSED of screaming and yelling by 06:12!!!
Trine and erica had left the house to go to Cape coast and Accra (seperatly, since they are in opposite directions). They left the house at about 05:55. Then our somewhat crazy neighobour, whom we had let use our bathroom a few days earlier (because the public one was locked) and thrown out when we heard her showering and using our shapooes etc, is sitting on our toilet. Now imagine me coming, very sleepy, out of my room, just realizing we have to go to accra afterall, and finding her siting there... All in the dark, so she wouldn't wake anybody. I was screaming. I mean, screaming and nothing pleasant came from my mouth I am sure. and all suzi says is, "oh sorry, but I want to shower".... What!!! "you have your own bathroom, go shower there" "No, I don't like that one"...... can you imagine my face by now. You don't like your own shower room, so you trespass in our house while we are sleeping, hope we won't notice. what the F...!!!! I got so mad. I asked her to leave, instead she started brushing her teeth, saying "NO I want to shower". I think I might have taken her clothes and trown it out. It didn't quite make it outside, but is sure left the bathroom. 15 minutes later our neighbours were also trying to get her out, no luck. So I went and found one if the guys she is staying in the house with... And by the time he threatened to go in the bathroom, where she was still standing naked, she came out (wearing her towel). Oh God. since then she has been complaining. she is sneakey though, last time she used our bathroom, we told her not to shower and use our water ( we had just enough and didn't want to go get more, since it was already dark), so this time around, she had gotten one of our buckets, gone and fetched water in that, so she would not use ours. I guess she figured that solved the issue.... :D
In retro spect it is quite funny, and I guess I should thank her for waking me up, and testing my lungs.... buuuutttt.
well this morning, we had the pleasure of her company again, wanting the bucket we stole from her... I am telling you... I see that it is funny, but...we now have to always clese and lock the door, even when we are in the house. And this is Ghana, even that little thing, is HOT... and I really don't want to ahve to lock my door, when I am at home. But on the other hand, I really don't want to find her any more places in my house...
tirsdag den 26. august 2008
fredag den 22. august 2008
So, She does....
Well, I guess I have to put a small thing here. We are having quite the event next week. We are (as most know) 4 girls sharing a house here, 2 from Dk, 1 from Sweden and 1 from Norway... Not so important actually ( the countries, just funny, we are just leaving out Fnland , but their language is too difficult). Anyways, what is important it that Trine (Norway) is getting married (the day before she goes home, no stress or anything), next saturday, that mens 1 week and 1 day from now... How crazy is that. We all new she was going to get married, we just all thought it would be in the spring, when she plans to go to Liberia anyway. But no.. why wait, when you can (easely) plan a wedding in less that 2 weeks... So next saturday we are putting 11 people in a car, driving to the court in Accra, get them married, and then back to camp for the celebration... It will be great.
Oh year, and then Erika is buying a LARGE amount of tranquelizers for the sunday flight from Accra to Sweden... poor girl.
Anyways, we are kind of expectiong them to get engaged tonight, so that trine get to wear her engagement for at least a week, before putting on the wedding band. She is so cute, the day after they bought the ring, she came into our room in the morning, shining, with the ring on her finger, whispering " I sleept with it on... shhh" :D
So we had a bachelorette ting for her wednesday in Accra. Which was great. we ate at an Irish pub.. Very noce ( I had a jacket potato, which might not seem important to you, BUT it was to me!! Oh how I miss potatoes....). After this we went to a nightclub..
hehe, Trine took the dancefloor, in bare feet, next to the VERY tall prostetutes in High heels... :D It was great. We were jumping around being silly and having a blast, while they (all 20 of them) were dancing with the mirror, making SURE they looked sexy... oh well. But at least I saw at least 3 of them leave with (older) white men... NICE (NOT). don't get it.. But the fun thing was, that trines butt reached ine of the girls about 3 inches over her knee.... hahahahaha.....
Anyways in 1 week and 1 day trine says "I do" to her Samuel... (and no worries, I have NO plans in that direction...) But I am very happy for her, even though this week is all about wedding, AND not NOT about fieldwork, what a shame!!! ;)
Uh, and a good thing (well another good thing) about the wedding is that we all get to wear our very very nice african dresses... hehe..
Oh year, and then Erika is buying a LARGE amount of tranquelizers for the sunday flight from Accra to Sweden... poor girl.
Anyways, we are kind of expectiong them to get engaged tonight, so that trine get to wear her engagement for at least a week, before putting on the wedding band. She is so cute, the day after they bought the ring, she came into our room in the morning, shining, with the ring on her finger, whispering " I sleept with it on... shhh" :D
So we had a bachelorette ting for her wednesday in Accra. Which was great. we ate at an Irish pub.. Very noce ( I had a jacket potato, which might not seem important to you, BUT it was to me!! Oh how I miss potatoes....). After this we went to a nightclub..
hehe, Trine took the dancefloor, in bare feet, next to the VERY tall prostetutes in High heels... :D It was great. We were jumping around being silly and having a blast, while they (all 20 of them) were dancing with the mirror, making SURE they looked sexy... oh well. But at least I saw at least 3 of them leave with (older) white men... NICE (NOT). don't get it.. But the fun thing was, that trines butt reached ine of the girls about 3 inches over her knee.... hahahahaha.....
Anyways in 1 week and 1 day trine says "I do" to her Samuel... (and no worries, I have NO plans in that direction...) But I am very happy for her, even though this week is all about wedding, AND not NOT about fieldwork, what a shame!!! ;)
Uh, and a good thing (well another good thing) about the wedding is that we all get to wear our very very nice african dresses... hehe..
tirsdag den 19. august 2008
Out and about..
So after that awful Sunday, Monday came, which meant up and off for us (Sidsel, Erika and me). we had a great plan. Leave early, get to Accra, find a car to Akosombo, sail to Yeji. Find another car to Tamale, a bus from there to Mole. back to Tamale, and to Accra, to end up back on camp... all in one week. And guess what, it worked. Basically.
we waited and waited for a tro tro to accra mnday morning, but we got there much to late. All the plans of gettin gup early and go.. well, it was still early, just not on a monday morning, going to accra. So it took us about an hour to get a car. Then it took us more that two hours to get to accra. which meant we were not leaving accra untill one hour before we hoped to be in Akosombo.. hehe. which is 3 hours of direct driving from Accra. BUT. we made it there by 13 o'clock (the plan was 10). we found our way to the ferry port. And got our tickets, and it turned out, we had plenty time (a whole hour untill the ticket boot oficially closed, and 2 hours before reporting time). So we went and found som food. Nice... We found a really nice place, out in the middle of the forrest almost.
The whole experience of getting on the boat then. Well.. We got back at about 15 o'clock. sat in the burning sun, litteraly, for 2 hours. packed in scarfs, towels and sungalsses (see pictures on facebook. very pretty). The we had to get on... Oh my. Pushing an shoving. being carried by the preassure of other people. I was lifted of the ground at some point, and then got sideways towards the small entrance we had to pass through to get to the gate. so my backpack,which I had put on my front, was stuck one one side of the bar, while I was on the other. I don't really know how to paint the picture, but it was pretty horrible. I just hang tehre for almost a minute, strugeling to get my backpack on the same sinde as me (cause I was actually in the right place), and in the end I succeded. sidsel however was much better at all that than me, so before I got to the gate she was ruinning towards the boat, to find us a spot to stay. it was crazy. They put us twice as many people as there are room for. we did find a table however, but the idea of sharing a table 8-10 people, in a room with 100 people, got to us. so we went to the deck upstairs, and stayed there instead, along with all the other white people on the boat, also some locals were there, ut I guess that ws in lack of better. because all that was left on the deck was the floor, as the military.... had occupied all the benches. But all in all it was the best solution. Right untill the next day when it started raining at least.... oh, we got wet... But only for a few hours, and a lot of people got off, right after taht, so we gould get further in under the "roof".
and the day got better. we had been dealyed already from the start. So at some point the captain (who this second day decided to drive the boat in t-shirt, boxers and flip flops) wanted to take a shortcut... Unfortiunatly that turned out to be blocked by some trees, from when the volta was not so wide, and there was still farmland on that area (the volta has been widened by a dam build in the 60's) and since this is so many years ago, you should think the trees could not be a surpruise.. oh well. BUT, then the captain saw a catfish floating on its back (apparently choacing while trying to eat a smaller fish), so he got the ferry to chase this fish. :D seroiusly. He put down the front (where the cars etc drives up) and had a man crawl out there, to pick up this fish... This is Africa, where else do you see a ferry chase down a "dead" fish???
I guess this says someting about our trip. There has been several other funny incidents with our transportation, but in the end we made it to Mole. Though that was also quite a trip. had two whole days of doing practiclly nothing but looking at a great view, play in the pool, and walk around, seeing antilopes, worthogs, monkeys and elephants.. It was amazing... :) It was actually worth all the trouble of getting there... :)
so we came back on camp sunday night after 14 hours of transportatin, which meant I sleept most of the day yeserday. I am now trying to get back in the game, but it is hard.
I guess my fieldwork will be picked up again next week.. :) I did do some notes yesterday thoug!! And maybe I will actually get to do something today also, I mean it is only 11... Think that Sidsel and I are going to watch a movie though :)
we waited and waited for a tro tro to accra mnday morning, but we got there much to late. All the plans of gettin gup early and go.. well, it was still early, just not on a monday morning, going to accra. So it took us about an hour to get a car. Then it took us more that two hours to get to accra. which meant we were not leaving accra untill one hour before we hoped to be in Akosombo.. hehe. which is 3 hours of direct driving from Accra. BUT. we made it there by 13 o'clock (the plan was 10). we found our way to the ferry port. And got our tickets, and it turned out, we had plenty time (a whole hour untill the ticket boot oficially closed, and 2 hours before reporting time). So we went and found som food. Nice... We found a really nice place, out in the middle of the forrest almost.
The whole experience of getting on the boat then. Well.. We got back at about 15 o'clock. sat in the burning sun, litteraly, for 2 hours. packed in scarfs, towels and sungalsses (see pictures on facebook. very pretty). The we had to get on... Oh my. Pushing an shoving. being carried by the preassure of other people. I was lifted of the ground at some point, and then got sideways towards the small entrance we had to pass through to get to the gate. so my backpack,which I had put on my front, was stuck one one side of the bar, while I was on the other. I don't really know how to paint the picture, but it was pretty horrible. I just hang tehre for almost a minute, strugeling to get my backpack on the same sinde as me (cause I was actually in the right place), and in the end I succeded. sidsel however was much better at all that than me, so before I got to the gate she was ruinning towards the boat, to find us a spot to stay. it was crazy. They put us twice as many people as there are room for. we did find a table however, but the idea of sharing a table 8-10 people, in a room with 100 people, got to us. so we went to the deck upstairs, and stayed there instead, along with all the other white people on the boat, also some locals were there, ut I guess that ws in lack of better. because all that was left on the deck was the floor, as the military.... had occupied all the benches. But all in all it was the best solution. Right untill the next day when it started raining at least.... oh, we got wet... But only for a few hours, and a lot of people got off, right after taht, so we gould get further in under the "roof".
and the day got better. we had been dealyed already from the start. So at some point the captain (who this second day decided to drive the boat in t-shirt, boxers and flip flops) wanted to take a shortcut... Unfortiunatly that turned out to be blocked by some trees, from when the volta was not so wide, and there was still farmland on that area (the volta has been widened by a dam build in the 60's) and since this is so many years ago, you should think the trees could not be a surpruise.. oh well. BUT, then the captain saw a catfish floating on its back (apparently choacing while trying to eat a smaller fish), so he got the ferry to chase this fish. :D seroiusly. He put down the front (where the cars etc drives up) and had a man crawl out there, to pick up this fish... This is Africa, where else do you see a ferry chase down a "dead" fish???
I guess this says someting about our trip. There has been several other funny incidents with our transportation, but in the end we made it to Mole. Though that was also quite a trip. had two whole days of doing practiclly nothing but looking at a great view, play in the pool, and walk around, seeing antilopes, worthogs, monkeys and elephants.. It was amazing... :) It was actually worth all the trouble of getting there... :)
so we came back on camp sunday night after 14 hours of transportatin, which meant I sleept most of the day yeserday. I am now trying to get back in the game, but it is hard.
I guess my fieldwork will be picked up again next week.. :) I did do some notes yesterday thoug!! And maybe I will actually get to do something today also, I mean it is only 11... Think that Sidsel and I are going to watch a movie though :)
Funeral
hmm, well its been a long time.. Guess I better strat with the funeral.. It was sad and all, but if I should stand "outside", and look in, it was also very interesting. So that is what I will do, I do have a BA in ethnography after all.
The service was 3 hours long.. why rush anything, TIA (This is Africa). It started saying that we should parise the lord, and be thankful that Ora was not at his bossoms (ok, so the spelling isn't the best maybe). That pissed me off, and we were 10 minutes into the thing (can now say my anger became a pattern throughout the sevice). The very first word said was "Halleluja" foloowed by "praise the lord". Eh NO fucking way!!! After that about 10 minutes singing of "my lord we worship you", anyone who has ever been i Africa must be familiar witth that song...
Then came different specahes and displays of "sorrow and chock". The thing is, that everything here is so "bodyly". Even their grief seems like a pretende. I am sure it isn't. But screaming, and very timed sobs and cries out of disbelief.. Well I don't know. But the whole service was full of a background whining.. You know the kind 4 year olds state when they are hysterical and just want attention or to gain something...
After all this, and some very genuine speaches of sorrow, some (to me) not so genuine ones, well that is not fair, I think of course that we all had a great grief, but some of the speaches just seemed too - planned. I mean, "ohh, Ora, Ohh, Ora.. I cannot believe it , ohh, Ora" with a high pitched whining sound underneath. And sobs at the right places. They were sad of course, but if you ahve no more tears, or you are not one for crying, then why out on that show? I guess that is the culture (argh hate that word, but custom is just as bad...). some speaches on the other hand, were great, I cried through the whole speach sometimes ( I looked so great, 3 hours of constant crying with occational sobs... wonderful... Good thing it wasn't a beauty contest, though I might have won afterall. My dress was awesome... Thanks Suzi (plus I am white)).
Everyone praised Ora, and her ideas, and the chruch even promised that they would make her dream of a orpahnege i Liberia come true ( I guess that is the least they could do after killing her!)
The service ended with a open casket thing. we all had to go and pass by the coffin. NOT nice. She didn't look like herself at all. I would have sworn it wasn't her. And the close they put her in. Oh, she would never never wear anything like that. But I guess this was the one time, she didn't have a say... First the representatives from the different organisations she worked with passed by, then the friends and finally the family. OH MY!!! Mass hysteria broke our. when they carried her out, people went even more crazy, throwing themself after the men carrying her. I thought at one point they were going to drop her (could you imagine that). Luckely they were like 10 men there, surrounding the coffin. But 3 people were carried out by other people and screaming and crying were extreme.
Oh year, and then of course in the announcements we were told to keep seated, since there would be refreshments for us all. So several cases of soft drink were carried in.. Think only half the peolpe stayed though, the rest were outside (me included) to see her put into the car.
That was strange though. They put sirenes on when they go.. So here was a march, the car with Ora in it, making a serious amount of noice, and about 200 people walking behinde it through camp.
I walked a different way with some friends. But meet the car when I was crossing the road. It was a strange sight... But I guess, it was fine. I don't know. I still don't realy believe she is dead.
maybe one day I will realize, untill then I just miss seeing her.
The service was 3 hours long.. why rush anything, TIA (This is Africa). It started saying that we should parise the lord, and be thankful that Ora was not at his bossoms (ok, so the spelling isn't the best maybe). That pissed me off, and we were 10 minutes into the thing (can now say my anger became a pattern throughout the sevice). The very first word said was "Halleluja" foloowed by "praise the lord". Eh NO fucking way!!! After that about 10 minutes singing of "my lord we worship you", anyone who has ever been i Africa must be familiar witth that song...
Then came different specahes and displays of "sorrow and chock". The thing is, that everything here is so "bodyly". Even their grief seems like a pretende. I am sure it isn't. But screaming, and very timed sobs and cries out of disbelief.. Well I don't know. But the whole service was full of a background whining.. You know the kind 4 year olds state when they are hysterical and just want attention or to gain something...
After all this, and some very genuine speaches of sorrow, some (to me) not so genuine ones, well that is not fair, I think of course that we all had a great grief, but some of the speaches just seemed too - planned. I mean, "ohh, Ora, Ohh, Ora.. I cannot believe it , ohh, Ora" with a high pitched whining sound underneath. And sobs at the right places. They were sad of course, but if you ahve no more tears, or you are not one for crying, then why out on that show? I guess that is the culture (argh hate that word, but custom is just as bad...). some speaches on the other hand, were great, I cried through the whole speach sometimes ( I looked so great, 3 hours of constant crying with occational sobs... wonderful... Good thing it wasn't a beauty contest, though I might have won afterall. My dress was awesome... Thanks Suzi (plus I am white)).
Everyone praised Ora, and her ideas, and the chruch even promised that they would make her dream of a orpahnege i Liberia come true ( I guess that is the least they could do after killing her!)
The service ended with a open casket thing. we all had to go and pass by the coffin. NOT nice. She didn't look like herself at all. I would have sworn it wasn't her. And the close they put her in. Oh, she would never never wear anything like that. But I guess this was the one time, she didn't have a say... First the representatives from the different organisations she worked with passed by, then the friends and finally the family. OH MY!!! Mass hysteria broke our. when they carried her out, people went even more crazy, throwing themself after the men carrying her. I thought at one point they were going to drop her (could you imagine that). Luckely they were like 10 men there, surrounding the coffin. But 3 people were carried out by other people and screaming and crying were extreme.
Oh year, and then of course in the announcements we were told to keep seated, since there would be refreshments for us all. So several cases of soft drink were carried in.. Think only half the peolpe stayed though, the rest were outside (me included) to see her put into the car.
That was strange though. They put sirenes on when they go.. So here was a march, the car with Ora in it, making a serious amount of noice, and about 200 people walking behinde it through camp.
I walked a different way with some friends. But meet the car when I was crossing the road. It was a strange sight... But I guess, it was fine. I don't know. I still don't realy believe she is dead.
maybe one day I will realize, untill then I just miss seeing her.
lørdag den 9. august 2008
Beach and funeral service
August 9(?) 2008
So the weekend came again.. what happends to the weekdays????
Well, last weekend was spend on camp, as our good friends and neighbours were leaving this week, so we had a goodbye party for them (and a birthday party for Safari). monday we went to Accra (= chocolate milkshake at Frankies..mmmm). and probably some shopping, but I don't really remember, exept I now own a 160GB external harddrive... And it is full of movies (and tv shows) by now.. NICE.
By thusday Sidsel and I went to Accra again.. More shopping.. Uh, bought a LOT of paintings.. Very Nice. Uh we went to the Art center, don't ever do that, unless you want to spend money.
But I think it was my way of dealing with Sameira, and her family leaving.. That was such a sad moment, I left to Accra before they even had gotten their overnight bag weighed.. But I hate goodbyes... But they are now in Liberia, and I have talked to Sameira, and she has seen sam (my Sam) already, and she seemed pretty happy to be there. But she was missing us.. Oh she should only know how much we miss her... It is so hard seeing everybody leave. even this morning Euphemaia left (a former teacher at ALP) and she wasn't tod that she was going untill thursday, so they had Friday to get ready and have everything weighed.. Not a whole lot of notice. But well they are "just refugees" I guess. I don't have too much respect left for UNHCR, especially not here on Camp....
Tomorrow we are going to Ora's memorial service. Oh.. I don't know. cannot really deal with it. But hopeflully it gets more "real" after going there. And I can deal with it. For now, it is just too strange! But I will not dwell on it, then I just get upset. And I had a very nice day at the beach today. And am looking forward to traveling from Monday.. :)
Uh, I have been washing today. And we have gotten some not too good fabric. So now trine and I have purple hands.. can you go to a memorial service with purple hands??? hmm.. have to go home and scrubb some more... :)
So the weekend came again.. what happends to the weekdays????
Well, last weekend was spend on camp, as our good friends and neighbours were leaving this week, so we had a goodbye party for them (and a birthday party for Safari). monday we went to Accra (= chocolate milkshake at Frankies..mmmm). and probably some shopping, but I don't really remember, exept I now own a 160GB external harddrive... And it is full of movies (and tv shows) by now.. NICE.
By thusday Sidsel and I went to Accra again.. More shopping.. Uh, bought a LOT of paintings.. Very Nice. Uh we went to the Art center, don't ever do that, unless you want to spend money.
But I think it was my way of dealing with Sameira, and her family leaving.. That was such a sad moment, I left to Accra before they even had gotten their overnight bag weighed.. But I hate goodbyes... But they are now in Liberia, and I have talked to Sameira, and she has seen sam (my Sam) already, and she seemed pretty happy to be there. But she was missing us.. Oh she should only know how much we miss her... It is so hard seeing everybody leave. even this morning Euphemaia left (a former teacher at ALP) and she wasn't tod that she was going untill thursday, so they had Friday to get ready and have everything weighed.. Not a whole lot of notice. But well they are "just refugees" I guess. I don't have too much respect left for UNHCR, especially not here on Camp....
Tomorrow we are going to Ora's memorial service. Oh.. I don't know. cannot really deal with it. But hopeflully it gets more "real" after going there. And I can deal with it. For now, it is just too strange! But I will not dwell on it, then I just get upset. And I had a very nice day at the beach today. And am looking forward to traveling from Monday.. :)
Uh, I have been washing today. And we have gotten some not too good fabric. So now trine and I have purple hands.. can you go to a memorial service with purple hands??? hmm.. have to go home and scrubb some more... :)
lørdag den 2. august 2008
getting better, but new frustrations...
August 2 2008
Well today is a better day... Life is gaining on me again, meaning my life here. I am still inchock that Ora died though. I really don't get it. But at least the tears have not returned, at least not in large quantities. I do miss her though!!
besides from that, things are going ok..
I realize that time is running, at least until Erika and Trine leaves. And we are starting our trip next week. First by a few days at Elmina, to see the old castle there, and then we might stop by Cape Coast on the way back. And then our trip really begins on Sunday (not tomorrow). Tomorrow we are having a goodbye party for our neighbours. And well, I think we have just invited people here and there, so now the estimate is somewhere between 20 and 30 people, and we have no furniture.. So it should be a quite interesting setting... :) but the petroleum lamps are taken care of.. So at least we have some light....
Fieldwork:
My fieldwork is a mess. I am confused about everything, and it is so stupid, because when it actually comes down to it, I have a lot of the answers to the million questions that keeps pupping up. Like how do you ask questions without actually asking what you want to know. Don't lead, but still get around it without stating what the word you are going for is. Ex. I want to know how rumours are influencing peoples attitudes towards going home.. well, rumours might not be the best word to use as it has a million negative connotations. So what? How do you get news from Liberia, what are your sources? How does these “news” affect your feelings about returning? I don't know it is difficult. Also I am questioning my methods, or lack of methods. I mean. Arh, I have gotten so used to be here, and have so many things with me from last time. I have a hard time keeping the wondering alive. I knew that would be difficult. But I did expect myself to be better at rediscovering the camp. I mean I can see a lot of changes, but I have trouble being specific. I don't know. I want to be better at getting around my pre-positions. But that is hard!! And I don't know how to write it. I mean. Argh! How do I write field notes, without writing ethnographic field notes. I don't need to describe all situations everyday, that doesn't have relevance for my study, so what do I do. I want to know how people feel, and what they hope for. How do I know that, besides from asking. I listen a lot. And I look at their reactions when they receive news of going or not going back to Liberia. But besides from that. How do I go about it. And how do I write it, without describing the WHOLE situation at the message boards?? Do I need to describe the whole situation at the message board? How much am I taken for granted, that I will remember, and that the reader of my thesis will be able to understand?? arrrgghhh..... I think that best describes how I feel.
I am looking forward to going to Liberia though. I think I will do much better there, as it is a completely new field. I mean, I will expect a lot of things to resemble situations I experience here. But it is a new setting. So I think I will be more open. And more receptive...
OH, God. I am not liking field work at the moment, too many things to keep track of. And it is all up to me, all decisions are made by me, and I “just” need to be able to argue why I did so and so. But half the time, I am not sure of that!!!
Well today is a better day... Life is gaining on me again, meaning my life here. I am still inchock that Ora died though. I really don't get it. But at least the tears have not returned, at least not in large quantities. I do miss her though!!
besides from that, things are going ok..
I realize that time is running, at least until Erika and Trine leaves. And we are starting our trip next week. First by a few days at Elmina, to see the old castle there, and then we might stop by Cape Coast on the way back. And then our trip really begins on Sunday (not tomorrow). Tomorrow we are having a goodbye party for our neighbours. And well, I think we have just invited people here and there, so now the estimate is somewhere between 20 and 30 people, and we have no furniture.. So it should be a quite interesting setting... :) but the petroleum lamps are taken care of.. So at least we have some light....
Fieldwork:
My fieldwork is a mess. I am confused about everything, and it is so stupid, because when it actually comes down to it, I have a lot of the answers to the million questions that keeps pupping up. Like how do you ask questions without actually asking what you want to know. Don't lead, but still get around it without stating what the word you are going for is. Ex. I want to know how rumours are influencing peoples attitudes towards going home.. well, rumours might not be the best word to use as it has a million negative connotations. So what? How do you get news from Liberia, what are your sources? How does these “news” affect your feelings about returning? I don't know it is difficult. Also I am questioning my methods, or lack of methods. I mean. Arh, I have gotten so used to be here, and have so many things with me from last time. I have a hard time keeping the wondering alive. I knew that would be difficult. But I did expect myself to be better at rediscovering the camp. I mean I can see a lot of changes, but I have trouble being specific. I don't know. I want to be better at getting around my pre-positions. But that is hard!! And I don't know how to write it. I mean. Argh! How do I write field notes, without writing ethnographic field notes. I don't need to describe all situations everyday, that doesn't have relevance for my study, so what do I do. I want to know how people feel, and what they hope for. How do I know that, besides from asking. I listen a lot. And I look at their reactions when they receive news of going or not going back to Liberia. But besides from that. How do I go about it. And how do I write it, without describing the WHOLE situation at the message boards?? Do I need to describe the whole situation at the message board? How much am I taken for granted, that I will remember, and that the reader of my thesis will be able to understand?? arrrgghhh..... I think that best describes how I feel.
I am looking forward to going to Liberia though. I think I will do much better there, as it is a completely new field. I mean, I will expect a lot of things to resemble situations I experience here. But it is a new setting. So I think I will be more open. And more receptive...
OH, God. I am not liking field work at the moment, too many things to keep track of. And it is all up to me, all decisions are made by me, and I “just” need to be able to argue why I did so and so. But half the time, I am not sure of that!!!
lost a dear dear friend...
August 1 2008
Well I guess today qualifies as one of the worst days I ever had. A good friend of mine, here on Camp, died last night. I never even considered her dying an option. She had been sick for some time, but I never, not even once, thought she could end up not living through it.
She was taken to the clinic here a few weeks ago I think. And then from there the church took her, saying something spiritual was going on. I don't know how spiritual Meningitis is, but they believed her to be possessed or bewitched or something. Foolish people, she had a super high fever, she was delirious and shaking all the time. If she had been taken to the hospital from the beginning, instead of lying on the floor of the church for a week, she would have been fine. They didn't take her to the hospital until Monday morning, and now she died yesterday. I am so angry, what church takes someone from a clinic, denies them medical attention for a whole week. I never trusted the churches here before, I can promise you that this incident has not helped on that. I hope the ministers, and her husband who told them to carry her to the church in the first place, are feeling so bad. Argh. I really just want to take them to court for second degree murder! Can you imagine what it would have been like if she had died in the church, I am almost wishing that had been the case instead, because then there would have been prosecutions against the church. I am so angry and in uproar that this has happened. I really don't get how it has been possible. And for some reason, part of me still refuses to believe it. I want her to come by, or for me to stop at her house next time I go on Camp. It is so strange. I don't understand it. I have been crying all day, but it is strange, because it is like I don't feel anything. But whenever a wave of conciousness that she is really dead hits me, I just cannot stop the tears. But for now, I feel more or less numbed. I don't know what to do, or say or where to go. I guess time will tell how it is to be. For now I am just waiting for a sort of real reaction, or real understanding. I don't know. But it is definitely one of those days I hope never to experience again.
Well I guess today qualifies as one of the worst days I ever had. A good friend of mine, here on Camp, died last night. I never even considered her dying an option. She had been sick for some time, but I never, not even once, thought she could end up not living through it.
She was taken to the clinic here a few weeks ago I think. And then from there the church took her, saying something spiritual was going on. I don't know how spiritual Meningitis is, but they believed her to be possessed or bewitched or something. Foolish people, she had a super high fever, she was delirious and shaking all the time. If she had been taken to the hospital from the beginning, instead of lying on the floor of the church for a week, she would have been fine. They didn't take her to the hospital until Monday morning, and now she died yesterday. I am so angry, what church takes someone from a clinic, denies them medical attention for a whole week. I never trusted the churches here before, I can promise you that this incident has not helped on that. I hope the ministers, and her husband who told them to carry her to the church in the first place, are feeling so bad. Argh. I really just want to take them to court for second degree murder! Can you imagine what it would have been like if she had died in the church, I am almost wishing that had been the case instead, because then there would have been prosecutions against the church. I am so angry and in uproar that this has happened. I really don't get how it has been possible. And for some reason, part of me still refuses to believe it. I want her to come by, or for me to stop at her house next time I go on Camp. It is so strange. I don't understand it. I have been crying all day, but it is strange, because it is like I don't feel anything. But whenever a wave of conciousness that she is really dead hits me, I just cannot stop the tears. But for now, I feel more or less numbed. I don't know what to do, or say or where to go. I guess time will tell how it is to be. For now I am just waiting for a sort of real reaction, or real understanding. I don't know. But it is definitely one of those days I hope never to experience again.
the beach and future travels...
July 28 2008.
Wow, so we have been here 3 weeks. Time is flying. Which is nice, except that is makes me feel a little pressured. I haven't gotten to do all I want yet, but ok, I still have over 1 month left here actually more like 2, but we have all plans of travelling for a bit of time also. OH, that will be nice, when the weather gets wormer, going to Mole, and to the Volte region. Maybe sailing up the Volta to the north. That could be awesome, it such a beautiful area.
Well for now, we are still on camp. We spend yesterday on the Beach. The weather wasn't all that great though, but that made the water seem wormer. Trouble is though that we all got a bit cold, so today two of us have sore throats, and one has a headache and is just generally not feeling all to hot.
But I am sure we will all be better soon. It is quite wormer today already, so few days of this and we are back in the game. Erika is the only one already running around, but though she did say she didn't feel up for making more than one or two interviews today.
And hopefully in not too long I will get to do some interviews. I have an appointment with two friends at 11, buuuttt, I just called to see how long they had gotten, and the phone was on charge. So I guess not to far... But hopefully they will get here in not too long. If not I have plenty of transcription to do.. Arrhhhggg, it is SO boring. But it is necessary, I have to keep telling myself that.
Well to get back to our day at the beach. We had Sameira (a friend of mine) and Trines boyfriend Sam and 3 of his friends with us. Oh my, that was so much fun. They all turned into a bunch of 10 year olds. They were playing around doing all kinds of strange things, acrobatics amongst others. And they enjoyed the water so much. It was so great. It made us feel so much more appreciative of being able to go there and bring them. I always get amazed that people haven't seen the ocean for so and so long. Sameira hasn't been to the beach since I brought her the last time. I don't think she has even seen water in that whole period. I feel so sorry for that. I am so loving the ocean, I could not imagine not being able to look at the ocean at every given time, but the again, I love water. But so does these guys. I guess it all comes down to opportunity...
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